When it comes to child support, there is no doubt that a multitude of variables exist to make each and ever situation unique. There are moms that see their child's dad as nothing more than a meal ticket, while other moms are doing all that they can to make ends meet and just might need some help. No matter the case, my stance on child support is based on my own experiences as well as the experiences of those individuals I have been fortunate enough to share conversation with.
If you ask a dad about child support you will either hear him respond "I am happy to give it to their mom because she is the one spending more time with them while I am working" or you will hear "Man, I wish I could spend more time with my kids but I have to work so that I can pay my child support" Heck, you will most likely here much worse if you ask find the right person. On the flip side, if you ask a mom about child support the answer may be more like "I was a stay at home mom and my job was to take care of the kids so he definitely owes me that money" or "I am not really worried about it. He gives what he can and he is a great dad". (sure..it is rare..but it does happen)
When someone asks me about child support I do my best to give them the answer that can easily be substantiated through income tax returns, paycheck stubs, and also bank statements. I usually response by telling the person that as a dad it is my duty to make sure my kids have what they need and do not go without.
However, I then proceed to explain that while I believe it is my duty to take care of my boys, it is destructive when mothers (or fathers) use the kids as a bargaining chips in order to get even more money for their own benefit. Sure, not all people abuse the system but for those that set out to do just that, inevitably the children will become the pawn in this very disgusting example of down right extortion.
Since my divorce in 2015, I have set out to talk to many single dads who have experienced their share of "shocking" situations in regards to divorce, child support, custody, and so on. I did make it a point to keep a very open mind when it came to stories being one sided, and found that almost all stories involving single dads, custody, and child support had one common factor. In almost all the cases where moms were going after the dads for more money and less time with the children, the moms had family and friends that were sitting in the back encouraging them.
It is very concerning when outside influence, especially in cases where greed seems to be the driving force behind the lies and twisted tales, can literally take control of a person and change them into an unethical and immoral money seeking machine. These "machines", the ones who value the dollar over their own children, begin the slow process of sacrificing their children's child hood happiness in an effort to "one up" the dad. And, when they get that extra check in the mail you know what they do? They don't spend it on the child. They celebrate this as a victory with their friends and family while their child continues to pay the price for their mother's self centered ways. Sure, I am aware that there are cases about deadbeat dads..but there are also cases about deadbeat moms. I am not addressing those issues because those issues require no arguments. Dead beats are dead beats...no matter which side they are on.
I have the opportunity to speak with a young man who went through a divorce in 2016. His divorce seemed normal and everything was seemingly going along without issue. And then, all hell broke loose. When I first heard him tell the story I had my doubts. After all, people do tend to skew the truth a bit in order to make them look like the victim. However, for this man, who we will call "Jeremy" his story wa true. Not only did he have a disturbing story to tell, but he had all the paperwork, emails, text messages, videos, and more to back up each claim he made.
Needless to say, I asked Jeremy if I could share his story on the SingleDadSupport.com and he agreed so long as I did not mention his real name. He also agreed to let me present documents substantiating his story so long as I blacked out his name, his ex's name, and also the name of his children.
I agreed...and if you click the link below, you will be transferred to "Jeremy's Story".