Author: Tarek Maalouf

Jeremy’s Story

"Jeremy's" story is one that really stood out for me and one that I also took a real personal interest in. In fact, his experiences, including recent issues involving CPS, law enforcement, and visits to the court house were so hard to believe, had he not offered me documentation to substantiate the details he shared with me, I most likely would not have believed him.

Now, with documents in hand, and Jeremy involved in a court battle over his children and their well-being, I decided to get started and share his story with the visitors of my website because I believe through knowledge and understanding, single dads just might find bits and pieces of information in Jeremy's story that they can learn from and find comfort in.

I must also note that I declined to include anything in his story that was not able to be verified through documentation, online research, and/or public record. Simply put, if it was not in writing, it did not make it into this story.

Table of Contents - Jeremy's Story

  • When they agreed that divorce was the only option left
  • Agreeing on attorneys and divorce details
  • The day of the divorce
  • The next few months as a single dad
  • How money began to change everything post divorce
  • The day his world came crashing down
  • Mediation and manipulation
  • After the battle
  • The lies placed on the shoulders of his children
  • The day his children told him they had been assaulted
  • CPS, Safe Harbor, local law enforcement and more
  • What will happen next

Child Support – How parents sell their children for the dollar

When it comes to child support, there is no doubt that a multitude of variables exist to make each and ever situation unique. There are moms that see their child's dad as nothing more than a meal ticket, while other moms are doing all that they can to make ends meet and just might need some help. No matter the case, my stance on child support is based on my own experiences as well as the experiences of those individuals I have been fortunate enough to share conversation with.

If you ask a dad about child support you will either hear him respond "I am happy to give it to their mom because she is the one spending more time with them while I am working" or you will hear "Man, I wish I could spend more time with my kids but I have to work so that I can pay my child support" Heck, you will most likely here much worse if you ask find the right person. On the flip side, if you ask a mom about child support the answer may be more like "I was a stay at home mom and my job was to take care of the kids so he definitely owes me that money" or "I am not really worried about it. He gives what he can and he is a great dad". (sure..it is rare..but it does happen)

When someone asks me about child support I do my best to give them the answer that can easily be substantiated through income tax returns, paycheck stubs, and also bank statements. I usually response by telling the person that as a dad it is my duty to make sure my kids have what they need and do not go without.

However, I then proceed to explain that while I believe it is my duty to take care of my boys, it is destructive when mothers (or fathers) use the kids as a bargaining chips in order to get even more money for their own benefit. Sure, not all people abuse the system but for those that set out to do just that, inevitably the children will become the pawn in this very disgusting example of down right extortion.

Since my divorce in 2015, I have set out to talk to many single dads who have experienced their share of "shocking" situations in regards to divorce, child support, custody, and so on. I did make it a point to keep a very open mind when it came to stories being one sided, and found that almost all stories involving single dads, custody, and child support had one common factor. In almost all the cases where moms were going after the dads for more money and less time with the children, the moms had family and friends that were sitting in the back encouraging them.

It is very concerning when outside influence, especially in cases where greed seems to be the driving force behind the lies and twisted tales, can literally take control of  a person and change them into an unethical and immoral money seeking machine. These "machines", the ones who value the dollar over their own children, begin the slow process of sacrificing their children's child hood happiness in an effort to "one up" the dad. And, when they get that extra check in the mail you know what they do? They don't spend it on the child. They celebrate this as a victory with their friends and family while their child continues to pay the price for their mother's self centered ways. Sure, I am aware that there are cases about deadbeat dads..but there are also cases about deadbeat moms. I am not addressing those issues because those issues require no arguments. Dead beats are dead beats...no matter which side they are on.

I have the opportunity to speak with a young man who went through a divorce in 2016. His divorce seemed normal and everything was seemingly going along without issue. And then, all hell broke loose. When I first heard him tell the story I had my doubts. After all, people do tend to skew the truth a bit in order to make them look like the victim. However, for this man, who we will call "Jeremy" his story wa true. Not only did he have a disturbing story to tell, but he had all the paperwork, emails, text messages, videos, and more to back up each claim he made.

Needless to say, I asked Jeremy if I could share his story on the SingleDadSupport.com and he agreed so long as I did not mention his real name. He also agreed to let me present documents substantiating his story so long as I blacked out his name, his ex's name, and also the name of his children.

I agreed...and if you click the link below, you will be transferred to "Jeremy's Story".

Sincerely,

Tarek Maalouf
Founder
SingleDadSupport.com

Stop Alientation

For many dads out there who have gone through a divorce or separation, there is nothing more heartbreaking than watching your child be manipulated by their mother in hopes that she can make you look like a bad father. This emotional form of child abuse is so damaging to a child who, without having any choice in the matter, is now being forced to listen to fabricated stories about the dad who they love so much.

I have always taught my own boys that there are two ways a person can excel in life and stand out in the crowd:

  1. A person can choose to work hard, follow the path that they know in their heart is good, and simply to the best to become the man or women they have always wanted to be or
  2. A person can spend more time talking bad about others in an attempt to put those people down so he or she can hope people think they have become the person they know then cannot be

When parents alienate their children, they do so with the intention of trying to limit access to the other parent who, for reasons the alienating parent does not want to admit, seems to still have a strong bond with their children.

When a mother or father waste their quality time of possession with their child by filling their young mind with lies and guilt trips, they are effectively destroying the chance of their child enjoying his or her childhood.

Like most dads and step-moms (or soon to be step-moms), nothing compares to the excitement of having my children come back home to spend time with us during our days of possessions. While the kids are away we spend our time planning what we will do when they return. Where will we go? Which restaurant will we take them to? How much homework do they have? The questions and planning become second nature and the excitement we feel when we watch their expressions of laughter and happiness as we share our plans is like nothing I can describe. However, when children come back from a home where they were exposed to lies and guilt trips and hate filled conversations, that excitement can sometimes be short lived.

Inevitably the "guess what we are doing this weekend" and "want to go out to dinner" conversations come to an end and then all that is left is a child waiting to ask if what he or she heard was true? The problem is, most of the time the child has been told "don't tell your dad I said this" or "if you ask your dad he will lie and tell you this is not true", thus leaving this once playful and loving child to figure out all of this "adult" junk on their own.

I made one rule with my three boys, and I would encourage all of you to do the same thing. I have always told my sons that if they want to know the truth, and they want to make sure that what they are receiving is in fact the truth, they they are more than welcome to ask me whatever they want. In an effort to demonstrate my willingness to keep manipulation and bias feelings out of my answers, I explained to them that if they ask me a question and I do not have tangible proof to defend my answer, then I will not give an answer to begin with. I have explained to them that I will only answer those questions that can be substantiated with physical proof. I also encouraged them to ask the same of their mother in an effort to eliminate any doubt they may have about what she says or what I say.

Sure, it is not what kids should have to deal with  but at the end of the day I need my kids to know that if someone tells them I never paid child support or I did not feel like showing up to a sporting event, I can say wait...here is the piece of paper that shows you what I have paid and here are my text messages and emails where I tried to reach you so that I could find out about your sporting event but your mom never got back with me.

Proof. That is the only thing I told my boys they need to base their thoughts and feelings on. 100% tangible proof and if their mother or other family member on their mother's side wants to make up stories, say "ok, but can I see proof"? You see, while I think it is down right disgusting to make any child a pawn or center piece of a fight between parents, I find it more deplorable to allow a child to go to bed thinking poorly of his or her other parent simply because he or she was exposed to negative comments, lies, and other damaging manipulative behavior.

If your ex is alienating your kids, you must do all that you can to remind your children that you love them. You must also not fire back with attacks about their mother because your children will begin to shift from trying to find peace to now seeing their father stoop just as low. It does not matter if what you are telling them is true. What mattes is that they are raised to see that their father did not disrespect their mother in order to make himself feel better. Let her be the one that reaches that low to "win".